Sibling Rivalry

Text: Genesis 25:19-34

This week’s Older Testament lesson is the first story of Esau and Jacob.

Remember Abraham, father of the Jewish people? His son was Isaac, who, like Abraham, lived as the scion, the family leader. This concept comes from the place of the first-born male having a birth right. We recognize this in royal families, most famously the Tudor’s in England where Henry VIII’s pursuit of a male heir is legendary.

There is also a natural leadership position that comes from the first-born, male or female. Parents expect certain things from them, as do siblings. From my own family, I have watched as my father (the eldest of three) was given health responsibilities for his parents when they were too old to do it for themselves.

You can see how easily this can become abusive—and how girls can be rejected by this process. Regardless of your emotions about it, there is something special about all first-borns.

In this week’s reading, we get the ultimate sibling rivalry. Jacob and Esau are twins, born at virtually the same time. But Esau came through the birth canal first. Esau is the first born.

We also get a strange piece of scripture in the midst of this, when in verses 27-28 it says:

27: When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, living in tents.

28: Isaac loved Esau, because he was fond of game; but Rebekah loved Jacob.[1]

It horrifies us to think that a parent could preference one child over another. This is an uncomfortable proposition.

These elements build to the story’s conclusion when Esau trades his birth rights for a pot of stew.

• From Jacob’s perspective, he is being cunning and Esau is being foolish.
• From Esau’s perspective, he feels that he is dying and Jacob is extorting him.

Soon after, Jacob, with the help of his mother, tricks his father into giving him Esau’s blessing. This leads to the heart-breaking scene in chapter 27 in which Isaac tells Esau, despite his objections, that “I have already made him your lord, and I have given him all his brothers as servants…” And Esau pleads and weeps. It is just awful!

In the far future, decades later, the brothers reconcile. We get Jacob’s story during the interim, and he is clearly of interest to the Hebrew people. The church has since often taken Jacob’s side, as their Jewish ancestors valued his “street smarts”.

I might suggest that we look at it from Esau’s perspective. He has been wronged, and his rage sends Jacob away. In fact, over the ensuing chapters we see how sorry Jacob becomes for his treachery and how Esau not only gets over his grief, but learns to love his brother again. Like Jesus’s parable of the prodigal son, we are to examine the story as the brother that stayed behind. That we are to learn how to forgive when things don’t go our way or how we expect them to.

Think of the last time a friend did something to wrong you. Maybe s/he stole from you or maybe s/he took credit for something you did. Maybe s/he was trying to look good in front of your friends at your expense.

How did this make you feel? What emotions rose to the surface? And do they rise now in thinking about it?

What are your feelings now? Have they changed since then?

What would it mean to try to see what drove him or her to this? Was it public approval? Was it greed? Was it jealousy (of you)?

What would it take for you to forgive him or her?

Jesus calls us to reconcile with others. Even Jacob and Esau eventually reconcile. What could you do to reconcile with this person?

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[1] Translation is NRSV.